Ten Reasons Why A Zombie Apocalypse Would Be A Good Thing!

NOTE: I wrote the original “Ten Reasons Why A Zombie Apocalypse Would Be A Good Thing!” back in 2013. No, I was not doing drugs (ya got any?) No. I am not advocating we release a government-created virulent pathogen into the drinking reservoirs of major cities with mechanisms for entering their host and evading immediate destruction by the host’s immune system. (Oddly specific, n’est-ce pas??) It just made me smile and I am all about sharing the warmth. Let the End Times begin!

Some people would try and tell you that the potential end of civilization as we know it might be considered a Bad Thing. These people have not really given this the thought it deserves.

The Top Ten Reasons Why A Zombie Apocalypse Would Be A Good Thing!

10. Suddenly, carrying a machete is more of necessity than a fashion risk.

9.   Friends of Keith Richards, Steven Tyler & Meryl Streep may not notice a difference.

8.   People will be in better shape. Cardio vascular work outs will no longer be optional. You get a lot of exercise running from the hordes of the undead… or else.

7.   The line at the post office will be shorter. Zombies don’t mail.

6.   The landscaping of my lawn will no longer be the homeowner’s association biggest worry.

5.   Nothing will change at Wal-mart.

4.   Because zombies eat brains, Mensa, the AV club, and the chess club will go first. No one will notice. Dumb blondes will be completely safe. Everyone will notice.

3.   The NRA can finally say, “I told you so.”

2.   You can shoot complete morons in the head and just say, “They turned.”

1.   Honey Boo Boo reruns will most likely go off the air when we lose all power and cable.

 

Honorable Mentions:

5. Taylor Swift may stop looking 18 years old.

4. No more pharmacy related drug commercials on TV warning us of anal leakage side effects. Maybe about brain-eating, but still…

3. Margot Robbie will still be HOT. Even undead.

2. The Walking Dead franchise will become an award-winning documentary. Sadly, the Emmies will canceled due to lack of attendance.

1. The population of personal injury attorneys will quadruple.